Transformed by Being IN His Family
by Kim Keene
There was a lot of grumbling, roaming about and angry voices. I was already anxious that our flight had been cancelled. The next flight out kept getting later and later. It was Ned and I and the kids back from “the best vacation ever.” Tomorrow we had an early, important appointment back in PA. I am the ‘on time is early girl’, so my internal pressure was building. Ned had posted on Facebook one of those sorry looking posts of the rain pouring outside and the angry passengers inside. I was getting a play by play of the likes, which was doing nothing to calm me down. Then God broke through that hot mess at O’Hare airport.
A message came from one of our Chicago small group friends from 16 years earlier. Erika, without skipping a beat, said they would come get us and we could stay with them overnight. It definitely looked and sounded like the heart of God, amidst all of the very human reactions and reality all around us. It stopped me in my tracks. We still didn’t know what the outcome would be. The situation hadn’t really changed. However, we had gotten a love letter right over Facebook. Our friends were willing to drive, take us in, make space and upend their schedules because we had built a bond all of those years ago. I don’t remember much else about getting home, but I do remember the grace, the care and the hope that her message delivered.
Community is complicated, like family. There have been misunderstandings, sacrifice, hard partings, but also, healing, growing, help, truth, safety and hope. Our community has delivered meals, built a side walk, watched our kids, moved us four times, listened, grieved with us, come to funerals, celebrated our wedding, birthdays. They have eaten meals with us, and encouraged us to grow or heal. Sometimes our community doesn’t even know us, when I have been on a mission trip and received love and care from the national church. Community has walked us through some dark hours, waiting in a doctor’s office, praying with us, walking close through some of my/our most difficult hours.
The Father designed us to be in community, Jesus modeled it and the Holy Spirit powers us through it.
I need it as we all do. I can think I am doing pretty awesome at being like Jesus until I have to work it out. Then I desperately need my tribe, my group, my spiritual family to encourage, help and challenge me. 1 John 4:20 says if we say we love God but hate our brother, we are a liar. Community is my “spiritual gym” where I get to work out my love of others, to sacrifice, to learn to love God well.
For reflection:
1. What would an ideal community look like to you? How can you practically help build that this week?
Jesus spoke and the New Testament gave over 100 “one anothers.” These are all challenges for me. After a sermon a few weeks ago, I chose Ephesians 4:2: “Gently, patiently tolerate one another.” I have the verse taped to my work monitor to remind me of my goal. The main thing I have gained from this reminder is how far I am from achieving this! Jesus knew I would need specifics to target in living in God’s Family and God’s world.
I had a friend that would challenge me before we went to church, to pray for and find the person I was to encourage that day. I had thought encouragement was a good idea before, but it wasn’t until I was practicing it (and debriefing about it later) that I began to get the idea that practicing and working out my faith required some thought, some preparation.
I had another friend that would make spaghetti every Sunday and invite all of us over to her very small apartment to hang out. She helped me consider using what I did have and not wait for more space, more money or more whatever before jumping in to practice hospitality. In our early marriage, still following her example, we invited a couple over for dinner. After dinner, they asked why we invited them. We looked a bit confused and said that we just wanted to get to know them better. They told us that they were often invited to buy something when invited over.
So, the Jesus way, the “Family” is a countercultural experience. Living like Him, in His Family has given us the opportunity to express his great and gracious love, in ways that we would not always choose.
“Here Comes the Boom” was a sleeper movie that had a nugget of truth hidden in it. The main character is a science teacher who talks about one cell, having life in it, can affect the other cells around it and bring life back to them. (Imagine this being taught in an over the top way with lots of dancing.) I love that image of us.
We all have been dead or dying spiritually, but as a member of our Jesus Family, we have the power, through the Holy Spirit, to bring and encourage life! You and Me! That is a storyline I want to live out.
For reflection:
1. Browse a list of “one anothers” with God in prayer. What is God nudging you toward in your spiritual family?
2. Have an audacious experiment, plan and do a ‘one another’ toward someone this week, someone outside of your usual circle.
I was talking to my spiritual Mentor and expressing frustration that some of my old habits and sin patterns still popped up. This certainly has affected me, but it also leaks out in unpleasant ways to people around me. She introduced me to Dallas Willard’s idea of intentional spiritual growth. He uses the acronym V I M. It stands for Vision, Intentionality and Method.
So, in the focus of Community, I chose Humility (Gal 5:13) Serve One Another. This gets back to my verse on my monitor.
For me my vision is one where I am a person who responds quickly (eventually immediately) to a need. I would find a practical way to be of service to someone else at work, at home, in my spiritual family. And I would do it with a humble attitude (not put out or complaining.) I know now that there are certain people or situations where this will be more challenging, so those I am praying preemptively over.
Intentionality means making a plan. I am planning on two specific tasks I can do for a coworker, an unseen task that no one will know about at work and how to do an unpleasant task before my coworker.
At home, there is a certain task that neither of us like to do. I am planning on taking that without talking about it or complaining.
Method means, putting on my daily list, strategically choosing a time (early so that the other people involved will not have to do it or it won’t be lingering.
And now I’ve put it out there. As part of my spiritual family, you can ask me how it's going and pray for me!
For reflection:
1. Spend some time with God in prayer. What area/s is He showing you that you could partner with Him in practicing ‘one another’?
2. Is there a plan you can make to build a habit/ practice into your life and schedule.
Do this prayerfully. This is not to be a heavy, overwhelming list, but a light, easy yoke.
(Matt 11:30)
Take some time to consider where you are in “The Family” of Daybreak.
Find a quiet place to be still. Come before God with anticipation.
Move slowly through these prompts, lingering on the ones that stir something within you.
Keep a journal or paper nearby in case there is anything you want to capture.
When you think about being in the family, what feelings arise?
What things draw you and are they attractive?
Where are there longings?
Are you connected to a small group? If you are, how is your level trust/vulnerability?
Is there a risk that God is inviting you to?
If you are not involved in a small group, is this something that God is inviting you to?
What might be a next step?
Spend some time listening quietly for what God offers you.
Thank Him for having this conversation with you and caring about you and the
Daybreak Family.